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8 tips towards being your best older self

1. Don’t obsess over who you were, look forward to who you can be..

So far from my research into our opinions of ourselves about Embracing Age I have come to learn it may be more difficult to adjust to growing older if you have been told all your life you are beautiful. I know I’ve been guilty of using my looks to leverage things over the years. Sometimes we do this unconsciously. As our youthful beauty fades not only do we begin to feel invisible, it becomes more tangible as that leverage no longer seems to have traction. It’s a double whammy, leading us to a feeling of powerlessness.

I think its important to note that by perpetuating this “Beautiful Myth” we should try and break the cycle with our daughters. Whilst being called a princess, pretty or beautiful seems natural I believe it is far more powerful to show our girls they are kind or clever.

2. Get to know the person who looks back at you in the mirror..Just as our youthful beauty fades our mature beauty has a charm of its own. It’s a shock when we look in the mirror and we don’t see the face we knew looking back at us. Try and pause for a moment, pull back a little, every little smile line is there because of your laughter at things you love over the years…even your tears, have made you who you are. Stronger, wiser and more whole. More human, more loving…well, just MORE!

3. Beauty is an illusion, its your confidence people respond to..

You know I’m always banging on about this but it cannot be understated!

Having worked in the world of advertising for over 3 decades I know without a shadow of doubt …the kind of beauty we compare ourselves to is just an illusion. You’ve seen the professional pictures of me, I am portrayed as my best self, great lighting, fabulous hair and makeup, they're meant to be aspirational. We can all achieve it with that amount of professional help. You also know its my confidence that makes them what they are, its my confidence that glows from the inside. Confidence is the most attractive thing about anyone at any age, no matter how ‘beautiful’ one is. This is the light that shines from the inside, and, as older women we should be burning brighter, not dimmer. So try to look for the strength that lies beneath your visage.

4. Don’t compete..

Ah this is such a key point in helping to accept our older selves.

There’s been much written to me about lack of self-acceptance, feeling inferior or second best. Why? Because we have somehow been conditioned to compete on so many levels, both with each other and within ourselves. I somehow missed out on the competition gene, I was a singular child growing up in a remote place, and I wasn’t good at sports and bloomed very late. I’m glad I didn’t get the memo. It wasn’t until much later in life with the advent of the digital world and the beginnings of all of those magazines that thrive on comparison; the tearing down, the building up, the she’s fat, she’s thin, stars without their makeup on stories that I began to realize such competition not only existed, but was perpetuated through the very magazines we were looking to to help us. Now days social media can be a double edge sword because many women look at other curated best selves to compare then feel compelled to compete. There are so so many women out there to follow who truly inspire, who lift others up, even in the face of being torn down. These are the women to find and follow.

5. You can help yourself through helping others, be a mentor..