8 tips towards being your best older self

Don’t obsess over who you were — look toward who you’re becoming.

Ageing isn’t a decline; it’s a shift in power. But it can feel confronting, especially if you grew up being told you were beautiful. I know that story well. When you’ve unconsciously used your looks as leverage — and most of us have — losing that currency can feel like losing visibility, agency, and relevance all at once. It’s a double hit: the world stops rewarding you for something you never asked to be judged on in the first place.

One of the most important things we can do is break that cycle with our daughters. Compliment their kindness, their curiosity, their grit. Beauty fades; character doesn’t.

1. Get to know the person in the mirror

Youthful beauty softens, but mature beauty has its own gravity. The shock comes when the face you expect isn’t the one looking back. Step back — literally. Give yourself distance. Every line is a record of laughter, tears, survival, and joy. You’re not less. You’re more: more human, more layered, more whole.

2. Beauty is an illusion — confidence is the truth

After three decades in advertising, I know exactly how the illusion works. Professional lighting, hair, makeup, retouching — it’s theatre. Even my own images are aspirational versions of me. What makes them powerful isn’t the polish; it’s the confidence underneath. Confidence is the light source. It’s the thing people respond to at any age. As older women, we should be burning brighter, not dimmer.

3. Don’t compete

Competition is one of the most corrosive habits we inherit. I somehow dodged that gene — remote childhood, late bloomer, terrible at sports — but I saw it everywhere once the digital world exploded. Magazines built empires on comparison. Social media turbocharged it.

But there are women out there who lift others up, who share generously, who refuse to play the comparison game. Follow them. Be one of them.

4. Help yourself by helping others — be a mentor

If you’re stuck in a loop of self‑critique, get out of your head and into the world. Volunteer. Mentor. Offer your time, your experience, your steadiness. You’ll be valued for your wisdom, not your waistline. It’s liberating. It builds confidence. It reminds you that you are far more than your reflection.

5. Simplify your routine

Time speeds up as we age — life’s little joke. Streamline everything you can. Beauty routines, wardrobes, decisions. You don’t need more makeup; you need less. You don’t need a closet full of trends; you need pieces that fit, flatter, and feel like you. A capsule wardrobe is freedom. A simple routine is clarity. You’ll get out the door faster — hopefully with a spring in your step.

6. Appreciate what you have — ageing is a privilege

Women who’ve faced health battles know this better than anyone: being here at all is the gift. Ageing is not a right. It’s a privilege. Live accordingly. Let go of fear. Embrace the years. Be generous with others and with yourself. Authenticity is the only thing that gets richer with time.

7. Be active — don’t wait to react

For years I believed I was a passenger in my own life — a message handed down by a father raised in a world where women were secondary. I waited for life to happen to me. I looked for external wind instead of generating my own.

Age changed that. I learned to act, not react. To choose, not drift. To step into my own potential. Old dogs absolutely can learn new tricks — and often better ones.

8. Rewrite the story — it’s never too late

My father and I have had long, healing conversations since I moved back to Tasmania. He did the best he could with what he knew. We’re at peace now. And that’s the point: it’s never too late to grow, to repair, to shift, to become the woman you were always meant to be.