Self-Care Isn’t a Hashtag. It’s Maintenance.

When was the last time you did something just for yourself—without guilt, without multitasking, without asking permission?

If you’re drawing a blank, that’s not a personal failure. It’s conditioning.

We’ve been trained to put everyone else first. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: if the plane’s going down, your oxygen mask goes on first. Not because you’re selfish. Because you’re useless to everyone if you’re unconscious.

Let’s call self-care what it actually is: basic maintenance. You'll be more likely to bounce back from tough times and without a doubt you'll – feel happier, calmer and more peaceful if you show up for yourself.

These are the non-negotiables.

Love, but don’t forget you

Do you hand out love like its confetti?  When did you last direct even a crumb of it inward? Try saying this to yourself: “I love you, you’re not perfect, and that’s okay.” Say it out loud. Awkward? That means you’re overdue.

Build a no-entry zone

You need a space where nobody’s asking for snacks, emotional labour, or your Netflix login. Even ten minutes in your car counts. Make it yours—and protect it like it’s sacred.

Drop the grudge, not your standards

Still stewing over something from five years ago? It’s not helping. Forgiveness isn’t approval—it’s freedom.  You’re not condoning bad behavior when you forgive others, you’re simply giving yourself permission to let go and move on. After all, it’s all about perception – recognizing we each have our own is key. It’s a tough step, but a very mandatory one.

Acknowledge the damn wins

You got through the day. Found time to eat, kept your kids alive, didn't scream into a pillow (or only did once). They’re wins. Don’t gloss over it.  Did you wash your hair, take out the bins, or finally reply to that text from three weeks ago? Parade! You deserve a fucking parade.

Make stuff (badly if needed)

Half-burnt cake, crap crochet, bad art?  Doesn’t matter.  "It doesn't have to be good. It just has to be yours."

Notice what’s good

Hot shower. Honest laugh. A message from someone who gets it. Small things. Big impact. Write them down if you like or don’t, just keep them there in your head to draw upon when you’re losing faith in the world. I watch the way people show up for each other—tiny gestures, casual kindness—and take that as proof the world isn’t quite the disaster it feels like some days.

Log off before you spiral

Doom scrolling at midnight isn’t soothing—it’s sabotage. Try 24 hours off socials this week. Watch your brain unclench.

Reclaim the Way You Move

Forget tasking yourself with workouts that feel more like punishment than pleasure.  Could you dance in the kitchen. Stroll in the morning light. Punch a cushion. Good. Do that. Movement should feel satisfying, not like you’re settling a debt to your body.  You don’t owe it penance—you owe it presence."

Boundaries = sanity

If something leaves you drained or doubting yourself, that’s your cue. You don’t need a reason to set a boundary. You are the reason.

Taste the food

Not while working. Not standing. Not multitasking. At least once a day, sit the fuck down and enjoy your food. It’s a basic pleasure, not a luxury.

Self-care doesn’t require candles or hashtags. It requires intention. You don’t owe the world your exhaustion. You owe yourself the truth: you matter. Full stop.